Letter to the President

Dear Mr. President,

Under normal circumstances I would be totally psyched for your visit to South Korea. Like last time, when you came to Korea and I told my students that the great thing about being American was that if you were in a foreign country at the same time as the President, you would get together with all of us expats and we would have an awesome pizza party (Yellow Class is STILL jealous). However, you could not have chosen a most inopportune time.

I have unsuccessfully (thrice!) attempted to get a replacement phone for the one that fell out of my bag. The first time, the "nice" folks at LG laughed in my face when I tried to get them to hook up Liz's old SK phone. The second time, I went to Yongsan, starving and cold (remember the ol' Teal line?) I walked away with my head in my hands crying in a cab. Now tonight. I was all set with a fierce determination to "get 'er done."

As I headed out of the YBM building, a portentous sky over head, rain pouring down and lightning flashing mere feet ahead of me, I braved the rain and wind to get onto the 730 bus to transfer to the 405. I would go to the cat shelter first and then head to Yongsan after. My Ugg boots have soaked through and I've got soggy socks.

However, we get to Seobingo and there is a hemorrhage of cars and police blockades everywhere. Seobingo is impossible to penetrate, our bus driver makes a u-turn into the other direction. Somehow I make it into Itaewon and after a nourishing meal of nachos supreme, I look out the window and see a stream of Korean police, in their riot gear and bright neon yellow outfits. W.T.F. I go to a cab and try to hail one to Yongsan and he tells me to get on the subway. I go to the subway and there are policemen blocking the exits. Defeated I get into a cab and head back home to Seocho.

Luckily I had an awesome cab driver who lifted my spirits. God bless these cab drivers. Honestly. We converse about the G-20 summit, the reunification of Korea. Kimchi chiggae, noraebangs, Peperro Day. How Korea is the best (out of China and Japan). Texas Rangers.

Back to the point, Obama. If it weren't for your dang Veteran's Day speech to the troops on base at Yongsan, I might be home with a replacement phone that has been more trouble to get than it should be. Korea is the land of KONVENIENCE! So why the heck is this so impossible? Because of YOU, Obama. Because of you.

 I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. Tell you what, if you want, I can still show you the most awesome place to get spicy bulgogi and then we can go get some Vinyl tomorrow night ok? Just play hooky with those boring old foggies and we'll call it even. Oh wait. You can't call me cuz I don't have a phone. Guess you'll have to email me like EVERYONE ELSE.