Booking of Love

So last night, me and the YBM IA gals aka Vanessa, Stephanie, and Anna went to our first "booking club." While I wouldn't say I'm completely assimilated into Korean culture, I would say that I'm comfortable with most of it. You should let old people push you on the subway and be ok with it. You should realize your boss isn't being AS critical as you might think when they are criticizing everything you do. Patting kids on the rump is PERFECTLY acceptable and openly done, even by strangers...

That's why I was intrigued when Vanessa mentioned a club she wanted to go to in Apgujeong that wasn't a typical western night club. While I could spend a bit of time trying to explain what a booking club is, Everything2.com does a pretty good job of summing it up:

http://everything2.com/title/booking%2520club

Here's a little rundown that I got from their site-

The "booking club" is a social club exclusive to South Korea, and is a unique compromise between modern Western ideals and the preservation of traditional customs. "Booking" is very popular in the capital, Seoul, and can be found in some of the larger cities outside the country where there is a sizable Korean population (e.g. New York City, Los Angeles).

Women and men come here to be introduced to each other through the use of a go-between. Instead of entrance fees in Western clubs, tables are "bought"; you rent out a table for the night with a group of friends... Tables for girls are substantially cheaper than tables for guys, and for good reason: first, to encourage them to come to the club, and secondly, because most girls never sit at their table for a long period of time...

Men's tables are very expensive, especially the private rooms; a single night out can cost up to US $1000 (~1,000,000 won) for men, not including additional drinks and tips, depending on what kind of table is bought. Each room has several waiters serving it; You might be asking yourself, "Why would there be a waiter if there is food and drink already on the table?"
The waiter's primary purpose isn't to get more food and drink (though they can be). What you order from a waiter are women.

The men in a private room will observe tv screens to pick and choose among the women dancing (as if they were no more than menu items), and will then give their "order" to their waiter. The waiter will leave and return with one of the items in your "order", dragging whatever girl you especially liked enough to make a request for. She'll sit down next to you, and the waiter will depart to serve someone else.

So what do you do now?
You make small talk, of course. You introduce yourself, and try to impress her in the short time you have. While it's true that you chose her and that the waiter dragged her over to you, she's free to leave if she doesn't like the way you look, or how you spoke. If you're lucky, you'll exchange email addresses/phone numbers, but you know it's over when the girl says that her friends are waiting for her at the table (a blatant lie; her friends are being shipped around from table to table, too). Hopefully by then you've snagged her number, and you can always call her later if things went well.

This is where the benefit of buying expensive tables come in. Having a private room and expensive liquor on the table is a not-so-subtle way of saying, I have money. Lots of money = good job = good university = good potential husband. Also, lots of money = lots of presents. It gives you a marginally better chance that the girl will stick around to really talk to you; nobody likes a cheap desperate loser.

Girls, however, have a very different night in comparison to guys. Upon reaching their table, girls will usually head straight for the dance floor, which has several video cameras. They can dance for as long as they want; as long as they're on the dance floor, they will be undisturbed by a waiter. It's only when they get off that the real action begins. Sometimes a girl will make it back to her table to rest before a waiter comes by, but if she's pretty, she definitely won't make it and she'll be disturbed the moment she gets off the floor. A waiter will come up to her, and politely inform here that someone is interested in seeing her.

The token and obligatory answer is, "No." It saves face for the girl; she has made her "good girl" response. She doesn't really want to go, that's not something she's interested in doing... the waiter will simply ignore her responses and take her by the arm to drag her, "unwillingly," to whatever guy wanted to speak to her.

The girl will then sit down and chat with the guy; if she's not interested, she'll politely excuse herself and leave. If other men have requested her, then she'll be picked up by another waiter again and conveyed to the next guy. It's very likely that she won't see her friends for the rest of the night, which is why carrying a cell phone ("handphone") is very important.

Now the observant might be asking themselves, "So... what happens if the girl really means 'no' when the waiter comes?" It doesn't happen too often unless the girl's tired. If she really does mean no, and makes that clear to the waiter, he'll let her go. He won't force her, of course; there's no point. But no waiter will touch her for the rest of the night. So the girl will be sitting at her table for the rest of the night, and a boring (and expensive) night that will be.

These sorts of clubs are very popular with the university and young single professional crowds, despite the expense. It's a quick and painless way to meet a lot of new people in a very short time (kind of like speed dating). It frees men from the hassle of trying to pick up girls (since they all come to him), and it frees women from the social stigma of meeting men. If anyone's in South Korea and has a few friends, it's one of the few "must try" things, if only to appreciate the way a compromise has been worked out socially.

(Another cultural note: many booking clubs are run by local gangpeh (a gang; similar to yakuza) of some sort, so if you ever have the interest to go to one of these clubs, it's best to make sure you've got the money. It's not all that wise to run up a huge bill and not pay. You will end up paying, though maybe not in the way you expected to.)

So what was it really like? This article had the experience pretty well summed up. I must admit I was a little apprehensive going into this. I think all of us girls were a little nervous and not quite sure what we were exactly getting ourselves into.

First, I feel there's a stigma attached to it by foreigners who have no clue what it really is, and even by Koreans who don't "get it." I was in this camp 2 seconds before walking into the booking club. I wanted a familiar night out in Hongdae up until we were ushered in and seated at a table at the top of a loft overlooking the "controlled mayhem" occuring below me.

As we were sitting at our table with a beautiful display of... fresh fruit and really gross beer, below I saw men running around in orange vests grabbing and dragging (and this is not an exageration) Korean girls (who spent a LOT of time dolling up) all over the place. Across the room, up the stairs, down the stairs, to partitioned booths and tables, out of bathrooms. I sat there and thought, "This is really creepy and in all honesty is a step above prostitution...." What did I get myself into?! Would this be considered a legal form of human sex trafficking?!

Anna and I were in need of a restroom so we decided to brace ourselves and make a run for it, leaving Steph and V behind. In an attempt at humor and relief, Anna pretended she was a Booking Waiter and grabbed my arm, urgently dragging me somewhere important. It certainly lightened the mood and we made it back without any drama.

After waiting several more minutes, a waiter comes up to us and asks Vanessa if she'd like to go with him. Ok, here comes the point of no return. The waiter tells her that it's a room of university students who can speak English. She asks if we all can go together and the waiter shakes his head, grabs her arm, and *poof* no more V.

And then there were three. Next another waiter comes and takes Steph by the wrist and says, "let's go." Anna and I are sitting there looking at each other, like "what the hell just happened?" We have no idea where Steph and V went. Finally a waiter comes and begins to grab me but I pull him down and say, "Chingoo" pointing to Anna and I take her hand and say "Katchi-ga-yo" (Go together) and the waiter says, "OK."

So here we go, we are led outside the main dance floor area into a hallway. The second rotation of "Single Ladies" fades in the background and there's just a lot of muffled noise. I wasn't scared but I was nervous, and of course a little excited. Where we were going?! Who was in the room?! What do we do if we don't want to stay? Before anyone gets nervous - Hi Mom and Dad- I just want to let you know, I never felt I was in danger, at any point in the night. Thanks to my sorority days, I know the rules. Never take a drink you haven't seen poured in front of you, travel in packs (yay Anna), and always go for the eyes and nose if something goes wrong.

We are led into a room that is similar to a noraebang room and we look around, BOYS everywhere... and VANESSA!!! She's sitting at the corner of a long table talking to some Korean guys and the waiter ushers Anna and myself to two guys sitting at the corner of the table. After awkwardly scooting to the far end, I'm introduced to "Kenny" a university student (21) who studied econ in Hong Kong and his friend, "Sam," a business mgr student who is back for the summer from.... PURDUE! OK, they were a lil young so I (hooray!!) lied and told them I was 23. Does that make me an official cougar?

After several moments Stephanie comes in and we chat up the guys and drink the free booze. We head to the dance floor (just us girls) and then we are booked to another booth and talk to some more guys. The second group of guys are in a curtained booth (less $$ than the private room, but the first one had about 10 guys and this booth only had 4 or 5) before we decide we've been booked enough and headed out to Hongdae.

All in all, this was a very fun night. Jury is still out on whether I would go back again but I'm glad I did it. One more thing I can check off my list. Honestly, it was nice to talk to Korean guys who I didn't know as acquaintances first. I always thought Korean guys were too shy and intimidated by Western girls so I wrote them off. Now I won't be as quick to judge.

Now it's time to spend a quiet evening with Gatorade and the first episode of Glee.

I don't think we took any pictures at the club but if so, I'll make sure to post them.

Till then. XOXO